So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
