when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
