Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
