In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just google imaged poop.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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