so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
