Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
