its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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