I got chris browned last night
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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