he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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