Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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