Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I would fuck him just for his dog
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