I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I love you.
Bad choice
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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