Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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