Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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