She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
