I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize