hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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