Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize