NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
