Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
