How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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