She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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