Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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