apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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