I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
