he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize