Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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