I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
