and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
