why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize