Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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