summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
