Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
