The maid of honor just puked.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
