I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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