I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need water and some morals
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
