Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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