I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So much Jack, so little girl.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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