my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize