Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
