So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
