Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
