i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
