We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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