He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
