Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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