I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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