I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
