I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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