maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
