I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
