she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
