Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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