I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
