help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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