Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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