i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
