Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
