I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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