i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
