And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
