she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
