Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
