I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize