found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Someone signed my nipple.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
